February 10, 2014 at 8:04pm
My Puigs Know What You Did In The Dark (in English, from Portuguese, from English)
So, I searched for my own name on Twitter today, because I do that every now and then, and I found that my piece on the National League West, which was mixed with a review of Fall Out Boy’s album, had been translated and posted on a Fall Out Boy site in Brazil.
This, of course, made me curious about what the article would look like translated back to English via Google Translate, so that’s what I’ve posted here.
The Brazilian translator actually translated it, so there’s not as much craziness in translation as you might hope. Still, I enjoyed this.
The translation to Portuguese is here: http://falloutboy.com.br/noticias/puigs-know-dark/
The original story is here: http://www.sportingnews.com/mlb/story/2013-12-19/nl-west-2014-yasiel-puig-fall-out-boy-dodgers-giants-padres-dbacks-rockies
My Puigs Know What You Did In The Dark
* All comments are the translator between brackets .
[Note: title not being translated by an obvious pun between the music of Fall Out Boy, “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark”, which gives meaning to the sentence. Translating freely would have something close to “My Puigs Know What You Did In The Dark”]
In less than two months, pitchers and catchers to attend spring training and the 2014 baseball season will take place soon after. For now, there is still urgent business to be done, and it has a lot of 2013, the year in which baseball fans constantly remind the constant emphasis of MUPS - better known as the horrible exaggeration of Fall Out Boy in the song “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) “and his signature refrain, LIGHT The MUP MUP MUP.
As we build the connection between 2013 and 2014, here are the thoughts of the National League West, created while we listened to the album Fall Out Boy “Save Rock And Roll”, clearly titled with the same thinking behind the idea that Arizona Diamondbacks could have saved baseball preventing the Los Angeles Dodgers to swim in your pool.
Speaking of the Diamondbacks, the first track of “Save Rock And Roll” is titled “The Phoenix”, and the first few notes sound like they could have played it under a spotlight while Mark Trumbo exploded a ball into the stands to the left of the field . Then the singer starts singing and you remember the percentage of base Trumbo.
Trumbo works as a concept if you have a solid background and can put it as number 6. Count on it as a major contributor on the offensive is asking for trouble, even on a team with Paul Goldschmidt. There is something to like about the formation of Arizona on paper, but then you realize that there are many players like Aaron Hill. “I always liked the fact Aaron Hill,” you will say, and then you realize that it is difficult to trust him because he never seems to be able to stay healthy.
"You’re the antidote to everything except for me" [You’re the antidote to everything except for me]. What does this mean? I have no idea, but think about Yasiel Puig, who is the most exciting baseball player in the known universe, but whose tendency to make mistakes in the decisions on the field and in matters of decorum raises the question that maybe he should be on the bench Reservation.
These questions follow indefinitely until you want to vomit, and there is no antidote other than stop paying attention to Puig, what you can not do because he is always about to do something incredibly exciting. The root of most of the things that makes Puig and angers people is in their self-confidence at a high level, which is what actually lets him do all the wonderful things he does. Airdrops over the gardener? Try recklessly grab an extra base impossible? Turn your taco? Yes, there is something to be said for humility, and there’s that old phrase standard of the game has its own way of humbling you, but be damned if someone or something humiliates Puig. He would be 50 times less fun to watch as a humble player, because you could not watch the bids catching runners, daring starts to get that extra base, or bat flips in singles.
Puig can make better decisions without selling his soul to conform. If that happens, he has a chance to become a player who will be remembered for generations.
"My heat is like a stallion" [My heart is like a stallion] is a ridiculous letter from "Alone Together" that does a good job describing the Colorado Rockies, a team that wandered off season as Pete Wentz with a magnetic kit poetry, trying to fit things into a set up that sounds good but it actually does not make much sense after all.
The Rockies added Brett Anderson, Brandon Barnes, LaTroy Hawkins, Boone Logan, Jordan Lyles, Franklin Morales, Justin Morneau, Jason Pridie and Drew Stubbs while lost Rafael Betancourt, Mitchell Boggs, Dexter Fowler, Jeff Francis, Todd Helton, Jonathan Herrera, Josh Outman, Drew Pomeranz, and Yorvit Torrealba.
This is a busy winter, but the Rockies are actually better? Helton retires, and they get another first baseman whose best days were behind him in Morneau. Colorado receives Anderson, but negotiates Pomeranz to get it in a bad lefties agreement. Hawkins is not so different from Betancourt. You get the idea.
Colorado is changing to high volume with little effect projectable, while the San Francisco Giants is having a relatively quiet winter with possible major impact. Adding to the home Tim Hudson and Michael Morse spin for training, while bids farewell to Barry Zito, the Giants could put on track for a third World Series in five years. Could, but the Dodgers have yet to be seen as the favorites because just as you must like Madison Bumgarner, Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum, Ryan Vogelsong and Hudson, the Dodgers go with Clayton Kershaw, Zack Greinke-Hyun-Jin Ryu in top of their rotation, and will be extremely difficult to compete against them again.
"Boys are smoking menthols, girls are getting back rubs. [Guys are smoking menthol, girls are getting back massage]. What kind of pathetic is that? "Where Did The Party Go" [where the party was], you question without a question mark, Fall Out Boy? Probably somewhere where lyricist has some idea of combining words. This was followed by "Just One Yesterday" [just yesterday], which is equally breathtaking so bad. "I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday" [I would trade all my tomorrows for one yesterday]. No, nobody would.
Okay, maybe the Diamondbacks did, but the actions of Tyler Skägg fell when he was sent to Anaheim Trumbo in business, and give up to acquire Matt Davison Addison Reed may have been a questionable deal, but Arizona is not negotiating ALL your tomorrows for just one yesterday. Archie Bradley, arguably the best pitching prospect in the game, is not going anywhere.
Similar choices are kind of a theme in the division, with the Diamondbacks taking Reed to go with Brad Ziegler after Heath Bell be traded, keeping the Dodgers Brian Wilson and his beard for a difficult combination to Kenley Jansen, and the Padres hiring Joaquin Benoit to follow Huston Street.
The Padres are fascinating for its constant ability to multiply palliative, year after year. Whatever machine they use to do this, it is more efficient than whatever the robot that came with “The Mighty Fall”, which sounds like Fall Out Boy had tried to put Molly Hatchett and Kanye West in a blender. San Diego reliever employed its development program to trade Luke Gregerson by Seth Smith, filling the need for a left-handed hitter, but what makes the Fathers an interesting team for 2014 is your starting rotation.
Andrew Cashner could be an ace to take place the next step in his game. Josh Johnson could be an ace if it was healthy. Ian Kennedy works reasonably as the number 3 starter, then there is some kind of mix between Tyson Ross, Eric Stults and younger Robbie Erlin and Burch Smith.
San Diego will enough? Face the screen does not give you the answer to the question, and in fact, will only allow “Miss Missing You” to infiltrate your brain. Not a bad time for this to happen because there is nothing wrong with it excruciatingly, unless the fact of being part of the album. It Will Venable songs from Fall Out Boy, the measure that the only thing wrong with Will Venable is that he played basketball at Princeton, which is offensive to me since I’m a guy who supports pro Penn.
From a viewpoint OPS +, the only batsmen of the Fathers which yielded below average league fees this year were Nick Hundley receiver and center fielder Alexi Amarista.
The numbers generally do not look great because San Diego is such a balanced shelter, but this is not really a bad line, and their worst batsmen are playing in the main defensive positions, so be it. Having Carlos Quentin healthy the entire season could be useful, especially because the depth continues to be a problem, but the fact is that the Padres are 11th in the National League with a 3.98 ERA team in 2013, and this is an impenetrable border when they play at home.
"Death Valley" is a non-harmful song. "Young Volcanoes" puts an end to the series of less-than-questionable musical material by presenting it as opening letter: "When in Rome’s bad, we are the lions, free of the coliseums. [When Rome is in ruins / We are Leos / Freestyle in coliseums]. " There is no legitimate way to connect it to baseball. Then there is a line about being "anti-venom [poison]" which is ridiculously early and just makes you think of LIGHT The MUP MUP MUP.
Young Volcano [Young Volcano] would actually be a decent nickname for Puig, with all due respect to Vin Scully calling it Wild Horse [Wild Horse]. Scully remains the best in the business, managing a division of excellent broadcasters. If you have MLB Extra Innings on television or MLB.tv online, you have to watch the games of the Dodgers just to hear Scully, who is 85 and is once again attending to what may be its final season, because even not doing more all travel the road he just can not retire.
Working alone, Scully is better than all the booths of two or three men in sports, and this is with all due respect for pairing the best in baseball, Mike Krukow and Duane of San Francisco Kuipner, which are closely followed by Steve and Berthiame Bob Brenly in Arizona. The Padres have Jerry Coleman on the radio and occasionally a combination of Dick Enberg / Tony Gwynn on television, and I’ll realize now that I have no idea who are the narrators of the Rockies because I can not remember a story of the game, because, well, everyone else in this division are so good.
Oh, hey, here’s a song Courney Love Fall Out Boy, of course it is. This song is called “Rat A Tat”, and how exactly it will help to save rock and roll, nobody knows. In fact, the biggest problem with this song is that Courtney Love has enough. It’s terrible, and I do not know why it exists.
"You need to lower the standards, because it’s never getting any better than this." [You must download the patterns, because it will never get any better than this]. Well, the Dodgers won this division by 11 games, and that was half of the season with Hanley Ramirez, who could have been MVP if he had remained healthy, less than half of the season Matt Kemp, who was not himself on the few occasions he was fit to play, and only 104 games Puig. This can improve, and should terribly frighten the rest of the division as much as the idea of having a broken iPod clubhouse that cries LIGHT The MUP MUP MUP only the most inopportune times.
Get the Diamondbacks, for example. They made 81-81, a record that came with a mark of 34-21 in one run games, and their biggest offseason acquisition is a guy with a career on base percentage below .300 and ball on output season had maximum speed of two miles an hour.
The Rockies made many rearrangements, but did not offer many reasons to believe that they will be much better or much worse. The Colorado kinda need to figure out what you’re doing, because hope everything go settle in and maybe some wildcard in play … It’s not really a good long term plan.
The Padres seem to have a long-term plan based on pitching and a good (but not great) offensive. They are not far from catenaccio the Kansas City Royals, who did the competitors, but the current team Pitching has some issues - Johnson’s health and progress of younger leading the way. That should work occasionally, but the odds have to be very long for 2014 to be the year.
That leaves the Giants, who were the last four years the world champions, out of playoff matches, world champions, and out of the playoff matches. San Francisco is the only plausible opponent to Los Angeles, which should work to have some excitement in the summer classic, but ultimately, the Dodgers have a pitching advantage in matches, bull pen and lineup. If they can remain healthy, it is hard to see anyone yanking them the division title, although Giantes certainly be good enough to grab a wildcard.
The last song “Save Rock and Roll” is the title track, attended by Elton John, and for the good of humanity, I’ll pretend that it never happened, and instead end this article with this photo Puig and Snoop.
Spector vs. Cosmo
Today, the good folks over at Cosmopolitan magazine unveiled their list of “The Hottest Players in the NHL 2013" and were immediately met with outrage on Twitter due to the exclusion of dreamy New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist. Now, this is nothing against Brian Boyle, a handsome fella in his own right, but in my wife’s words, Lundqvist is pretty much a perfect physical specimen of a human male. I get it, and I don’t disagree. If Caroline and Henrik ran off together, I’d understand. That’s a two-man list, by the way: Lundqvist and Jon Hamm.
Seriously, look at this guy. This is a picture I took with a phone. Lundqvist still looks like he just came off the pages of, well, Cosmo.
The omission of Lundqvist wasn’t the only glaring problem with Cosmo’s list, so I opened the floor to votes for my Twitter followers’ choices of the hottest players in the NHL. Not surprisingly, Lundqvist was the runaway winner, but like Cosmo, I’ll share the results, naming the winner from each team. Congrats, fellas, and try to protect those faces as the season gets underway.
Here’s the list, ranked by vote total. You can click on the names for the Google Images results for each player.
New York Rangers: Henrik Lundqvist
Minnesota Wild: Zach Parise
Nashville Predators: Mike Fisher
Pittsburgh Penguins: James Neal
Chicago Blackhawks: Patrick Sharp
Colorado Avalanche: Gabriel Landeskog
Washington Capitals: Brooks Laich
Toronto Maple Leafs: Joffrey Lupul
Vancouver Canucks: Ryan Kesler
Anaheim Ducks: Sheldon Souray
Tampa Bay Lightning: Steven Stamkos
San Jose Sharks: Dan Boyle
Boston Bruins: Tyler Seguin
Carolina Hurricanes: Tuomo Ruutu
Montreal Canadiens: Carey Price
Philadelphia Flyers: Claude Giroux
Dallas Stars: Loui Eriksson
Florida Panthers: George Parros
Los Angeles Kings: Mike Richards
Ottawa Senators: Jason Spezza
St. Louis Blues: Vladimir Sobotka
Calgary Flames: Jarome Iginla
New York Islanders: Rick DiPietro
Buffalo Sabres: Cody Hodgson
Edmonton Oilers: Jordan Eberle
New Jersey Devils: David Clarkson
Phoenix Coyotes: Rostislav Klesla
Winnipeg Jets: Zach Bogosian
Detroit Red Wings: Darren Helm
Columbus Blue Jackets: Jared Boll
So, who’s got the better list, Cosmo’s readers or mine?
September 18, 2012 at 8:13am
Me on KMOX - 9/17/12
July 30, 2012 at 9:58pm
Project Qualls: New York and Beyond
Closing in on 1500 votes cast in Project Qualls now, and it’s clear that there’s still very much a New York flavor, as in every sport except for hockey, a New York athlete is at the top or is tied for the top of the charts. Of course, the hockey player drawing the most ire from his home fans is very much a New York athlete – it’s just that Canucks fans don’t like Mark Messier. He’s gotten the most vitriol of any candidate so far.
Following are the players who have received five or more votes in Project Qualls. It makes sense for now that the most votes have come from New York, given that I used to work for the Daily News and a lot of my Twitter followers are from the city I still come home. If you’re a fan of another city’s teams, you can help by voting yourself with an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or a tweet to @ProjectQualls – the question: who is your least favorite player from your favorite team, past or present, in any sports? For more information, go to the Project Qualls introduction. Spread the word wherever you can and get those votes coming!
Alex Rodriguez – 12 (Yankees 11, Rangers 1)
Chad Qualls 11 – (Yankees 5, Phillies 3, Astros 2, Diamondbacks 1)
Kyle Farnsworth – 10 (Yankees 10)
Jason Bay – 7 (Mets 7)
Josh Beckett – 7 (Red Sox 7)
Armando Benitez – 7 (Mets 4, Orioles 2, Giants 1)
Carl Pavano – 7 (Yankees 7)
Bobby Bonilla – 6 (Mets 6)
Kevin Brown – 6 (Yankees 5, Dodgers 1)
Adam Eaton – 6 (Phillies 6)
Kevin Gregg – 6 (Blue Jays 5, Cubs 1)
Julio Lugo – 6 (Red Sox 6)
Oliver Perez – 6 (Mets 6)
Ryan Raburn – 6 (Tigers 6)
Milton Bradley – 5 (Cubs 5)
Roger Clemens – 5 (Blue Jays 2, Yankees 2, Red Sox 1)
Andruw Jones – 5 (Dodgers 4, Yankees 1)
James Loney – 5 (Dodgers 5)
Stephon Marbury – 7 (Knicks 6, Celtics 1)
Albert Haynesworth – 7 (Redskins 7)
Tim Tebow – 7 (Jets 7)
Wayne Hunter – 6 (Jets 6)
Eric Smith – 5 (Jets 5)
Mark Messier – 33 (Canucks 33)
Jaromir Jagr – 19 (Capitals 12, Rangers 7)
Donald Brashear – 14 (Rangers 14)
Scott Gomez – 13 (Canadiens 7, Rangers 6)
Sean Avery – 12 (Rangers 4, Kings 4, Stars 3, Red Wings 1)
Rick DiPietro – 10 (Islanders 10)
Arron Asham – 9 (Rangers 9)
Filip Kuba – 7 (Wild 5, Senators 2)
Tom Poti – 7 (Rangers 6, Oilers 1)
Brett Lebda – 6 (Maple Leafs 3, Red Wings 3)
Wade Redden – 6 (Rangers 6)
Valeri Kamensky – 5 (Rangers 5)
Jamie Langenbrunner – 5 (Devils 5)
Marek Malik – 5 (Rangers 5)
Mike Rupp – 5 (Rangers 5)
Alexei Yashin – 5 (Islanders 5)
Project Qualls: Day 4
Project Qualls has received 1000 nominations in four days, which is just incredible, so thank you very much! For those who have not yet participated, there are two ways to vote…
The question is: Who is your least favorite player from your favorite team? You can e-mail your answer to email@example.com or tweet it to @ProjectQualls. As you’ll note below, some people have voted for coaches and executives, as well. You can vote for past or present candidates in any sport.
For today’s update, a look at the teams that have garnered at least 1% of the votes – in other words, double digits. For some teams, like the Vancouver Canucks, a clear Project Qualls leader is emerging. For others, like the Maple Leafs, there is almost no clarity – the 17 votes by Toronto fans have been split among 16 different candidates.
Listed below are the names of the players receiving multiple votes on teams with at least 10 nominations.
Don’t see your favorite team – or your least favorite player from your favorite team – listed? Fire up that Internet of yours and get voting. As noted above, you can e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet to @ProjectQualls.
Blue Jays: 19 votes – Kevin Gregg 3, Jon Rauch 3, Roger Clemens 2, Francisco Cordero 2
Cubs: 19 votes – Milton Bradley 4, Carlos Marmol 2, Alfonso Soriano 2
Giants: 10 votes – A.J. Pierzynski 2, Aaron Rowand 2
Mets: 48 votes – Bobby Bonilla 6, Oliver Perez 6, Jason Bay 5, Armando Benitez 4, Jeff Kent 3, Vince Coleman 2, Aaron Heilman 2, Guillermo Mota 2, Mel Rojas 2, Mo Vaughn 2
Phillies: 23 votes – Adam Eaton 5, Chad Qualls 3
Red Sox: 32 votes – Josh Beckett 6, Julio Lugo 4, John Lackey 3, J.D. Drew 2
Tigers: 10 votes – Ryan Raburn 4, Juan Gonzalez 2, Brandon Inge 2
Twins: 13 votes – Nick Blackburn 2, Nick Punto 2
Yankees: 82 votes – Kyle Farnsworth 10, Alex Rodriguez 10, Chad Qualls 5, Javier Vazquez 4, Joe Girardi 3, Felix Heredia 3, Kei Igawa 3, Carl Pavano 3, A.J. Burnett 2, Jose Canseco 2, Roger Clemens 2, Chuck Knoblauch 2, Russell Martin 2, Eduardo Nunez 2, Michael Pineda 2, Joe Torre 2
Bulls: 11 votes – Larry Hughes 2, C.J. Watson 2
Knicks: 23 votes – Stephon Marbury 3, J.R. Smith 2, Amar’e Stoudemire 2, Isiah Thomas 2
Bears: 17 votes – Caleb Hanie 3, Marion Barber 2, Rex Grossman 2, Kordell Stewart 2
Giants: 13 votes – Tiki Barber 3, Ron Dayne 2, Matt Dodge 2
Jets: 25 votes – Wayne Hunter 5, Tim Tebow 5, Eric Smith 4, Doug Brien 2, Matt Mulligan 2
Redskins: 14 votes – Albert Haynesworth 5
Avalanche: 17 votes – Tyler Arnason 3, Darcy Tucker 3, Matt Hunwick 2
Blackhawks: 15 votes – Brian Campbell 2, Cristobal Huet 2, Sean O’Donnell 2, Marty Turco 2
Bruins: 10 votes – Tim Thomas 2
Canadiens: 16 votes – Scott Gomez 4, Max Lapierre 2
Canucks: 38 votes – Mark Messier 23, Mason Raymond 3, Aaron Rome 2, Mikael Samuelsson 2
Capitals: 20 votes – Jaromir Jagr 10, Joe Corvo 2
Devils: 18 votes – Jamie Langenbrunner 3, Kurtis Foster 2, Pierre-Luc Letournau-Leblond 2, Colin White 2
Flyers: 25 votes – Jody Shelley 4, Dan Carcillo 3, Michael Leighton 3, Danny Briere 2, Jeff Carter 2, James van Riemsdyk 2
Islanders: 19 votes – Rick DiPietro 6, Kirk Muller 3, Alexei Yashin 3, Oleg Kvasha 2
Maple Leafs: 17 votes – Brett Lebda 2
Rangers: 101 votes – Donald Brashear 13, Arron Asham 9, Marek Malik 5, Tom Poti 5, Wade Redden 5, Jaromir Jagr 4, Sandis Ozolinsh 4, Michal Rozsival 4, Sean Avery 3, Scott Gomez 3, Valeri Kamensky 3, Dale Purinton 3, Mike Rupp 3, Michael Del Zotto 2, Chris Drury 2, Brandon Dubinsky 2, Chris Higgins 2, Ryan Hollweg 2, Eric Lindros 2
Red Wings: 17 votes – Jonathan Ericsson 2, Jiri Hudler 2, Brett Lebda 2
Wild: 10 votes – Filip Kuba 3, Cam Barker 2, Martin Havlat 2, Marek Zidlicky 2
Project Qualls, Day 3: Going to an Olympics opening ceremony party tonight, so I won’t be counting votes. Instead, allow me to introduce the first mascot nominee to Project Qualls, what The Good Doctor, Jo Innes called “that tool in the centurion costume” This is why you should be following @JoNana on the Twitter machine. Also, you should be following @ProjectQualls on the same Twitter machine. Tweet your nominees there. The question is: Who is your least favorite player from your favorite team, past or present, in any and every sport?
Project Qualls: Day 2
What’s Project Qualls? Read this and find out.
After two days, there have been 625 names submitted to Project Qualls, and it’s tied at the top between Donald Brashear, with 12 votes as Rangers fans’ least favorite Ranger, and Mark Messier with 12 votes from Vancouver, where Canucks fans have long memories.
Today’s voting breakdown focuses on the players who have received votes with multiple teams. Interestingly, no NFL players have drawn the ire of home fans in multiple cities. At least not yet.
Who’s your least favorite player on your favorite team, in any sport, past or present? E-mail email@example.com or tweet it to @ProjectQualls. Thanks!
Armando Benitez: Mets 2, Orioles 2, Giants 1
Jose Canseco: Yankees 2, Blue Jays 1
Roger Clemens: Blue Jays 1, Red Sox 1, Yankees 1
Kevin Gregg: Blue Jays 2, Cubs 1
Jose Guillen: Angels 1, Giants 1
Chuck Knoblauch: Twins 1, Yankees 1
Will Ohman: Cubs 1, White Sox 1
Vicente Padilla: Phillies 1, Rangers 1
Chad Qualls: Yankees 5, Phillies 2
Alex Rodriguez: Yankees 8, Rangers 1
Kenny Rogers: Mets 1, Yankees 1
Vernon Wells: Angels 1, Blue Jays 1
Chris Duhon: Knicks 1, Magic 1
Nik Antropov: Jets 1, Maple Leafs 1
Sean Avery: Stars 3, Rangers 2, Red Wings 1
Dan Carcillo: Flyers 2, Blackhawks 1
Tim Connolly: Maple Leafs 1, Sabres 1
Scott Gomez: Canadiens 4, Rangers 1
Ryan Hollweg: Rangers 2, Maple Leafs 1
Jaromir Jagr: Capitals 6, Rangers 3
Filip Kuba: Wild 3, Senators 2
Brett Lebda: Maple Leafs 1, Red Wings 1
Andreas Lilja: Flyers 1, Red Wings 1
Petr Nedved: Flyers 1, Rangers 1
Matt Stajan: Flames 2, Maple Leafs 1
Marek Zidlicky: Devils 1, Wild 1
Titus Bramble: Sunderland 2, Newcastle United 1
Project Qualls: Day 1
If you’re wondering what Project Qualls is, read the introduction and cast your vote, then come back here and check out the early returns. I’ll wait.
Okay, after one day of voting in Project Qualls, these are the players who have received two votes from the fans of their respective teams. Don’t see your least favorite player from your favorite team here? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org with the player on your favorite team — in any sport, players past or present. As you’ll see, not everyone has gone specifically for players.
You’re also more than welcome to share an explanation for your selection, as I did in the intro. You did read it, didn’t you? Okay, cool. As the project moves forward, I’ll work those explanations into what’s going on here. Here are the multi-vote players, by team, for the first day of voting. Donald Brashear is the leader with 10 votes from New York Rangers fans.
Blue Jays: Jon Rauch
Giants: A.J. Pierzynski
Mets: Aaron Heilman, Armando Benitez, Bobby Bonilla, Jason Bay, Oliver Perez, Vince Coleman
Nationals: Henry Rodriguez
Phillies: Adam Eaton, Chad Qualls
Red Sox: Josh Beckett
Tigers: Ryan Raburn
Yankees: Alex Rodriguez, Chad Qualls, Javier Vazquez, Joe Girardi, Joe Torre, Jose Canseco, Kyle Farnsworth
Knicks: Amar’e Stoudemire, Stephon Marbury
Eagles: Donovan McNabb
Giants: Matt Dodge
Jets: Eric Smith, Matt Mulligan, Wayne Hunter
Avalanche: Darcy Tucker
Canadiens: Scott Gomez
Canucks: Mark Messier, Mason Raymond
Capitals: Jaromir Jagr
Flames: Matt Stajan
Flyers: Dan Carcillo, Jeff Carter
Islanders: Oleg Kvasha, Rick DiPietro
Rangers: Arron Asham, Chris Drury, Chris Higgins, Dale Purinton, Donald Brashear, Jaromir Jagr, Marek Malik, Michael Del Zotto, Michal Rozsival, Sandis Ozolinsh, Sean Avery, Tom Poti, Wade Redden
Red Wings: Jonathan Ericsson
Sharks: Ed Belfour
Stars: Sean Avery
Wild: Filip Kuba
Arsenal: Robin Van Persie
Sunderland: Titus Bramble
Maybe you want the story, maybe you don’t. If you don’t, here’s Project Qualls in a nutshell. I’m asking a simple question: Who is your least favorite player on your favorite team, current or all-time? E-mail your replies, regardless of sport, to email@example.com — I have no idea what will become of this, but I think it might wind up being very interesting. You can also vote by tweeting your nomination to @ProjectQualls.
Here’s the story…
At 12:46 a.m. on July 25, 2012, Joe Girardi’s overmanaging of the Yankees’ bullpen in what wound up a 4-2 loss to the Seattle Mariners resulted in much Twitter-bashing of both the skipper and the parade of ineffective relievers he had summoned. Among them was Chad Qualls, who was being so mercilessly ripped by the Twitterati that I thought to tweet this:
Instantly, the replies started to come — very quickly for that hour of the night on the East Coast, and especially given that I’m a hockey writer. It certainly did not hurt that the first reply was from Kevin Goldstein, in the form of a retweet.
As the replies came in, ranging from Esteban Loaiza to George Costanza back to Chad Qualls himself in a very meta moment, I got to thinking: everyone has that guy on their favorite team that they just can’t stand. Some of my most vivid sports-watching memories and some of my earliest swearing memories involve Tim Leary’s tenure with the Yankees. Now, having become a journalist and mostly given up rooting for North American teams, the player on my favorite team who drives me nuts is Titus Bramble of Sunderland — it never helps when someone comes to your team after you’ve built up a hearty dislike for him playing with a rival, in this case Newcastle United.
The point is, everyone has a Tim Leary or a Titus Bramble — the player on your favorite team who you just don’t like, or at least who is your least favorite. So, I set up a Gmail account and went ahead and asked…
Project Qualls came online at 12:59 a.m.
Now, as you’ve read this, I imagine that you’ve had a little time to think of your own Project Qualls candidates. Well, that’s the point. E-mail your least favorite player from your favorite team, current or all time, in any and all sports, to firstname.lastname@example.org
Stay tuned for updates.
"Massasoit: Great Sachem of the Wampanoags, Protector and Preserver of the Pilgrims / Erected by the Improved Order of Red Men as a grateful tribute / 1921" (Taken with Instagram at Massasoit Statue)